I have been married for six years with three children. In my marriage, my husband gives priority to his people. I wouldn’t have minded but I lost my job on our third child’s pregnancy since I was given total bed rest from four months.
Salt was added into the fresh wound when my Mother and Dad came to visit us on Easter, they had informed us in January that they would spend the day of Jesus’ Resurrection with us.
This man on Good Friday went and did the shopping as usual. Meanwhile he doesn’t leave kameeza money since he does all the shopping from big things to match boxes.
So he came back with food stuffs. Rice, Posho, beans, cooking oil, tomatoes and onions. I reminded him that my parents were visiting on Sunday. He never said anything.
You people, I prepared beans for Mummy and Dad on Easter! My Dad is the one who even sent for soda as a drink for the day. Mr comfortably sat and we ate the beans and rice.
Meanwhile hubby has a very good paying job but he is naturally mean. They left in the evening and I kept quiet but Mum told me that she will call me and we will talk.
On Easter Monday his Mum and Dad plus two of his siblings gave us a surprise visit at around midday. Tell you what!
The guy ran to the market, brought matooke, soda and a very big local cock. This broke my heart! I prepared this meal for my in-laws but I was totally shuttered. They ate but I failed to eat food. I reasoned with them that I had a stomach ache. Hubby told them yes of late she has been having stomach upset. This hurt me most because he knew the truth.
At night, I asked him to wake up at around 1:00am and we talked because I couldn’t sleep. When I asked him why he continues to do this to my parents, he openly shouted saying; my wife, you forget so fast.
Have you forgotten how your parents treated me when I came to your home for the traditional ceremony? They treated us like fools, they asked for bride price as though I was a Billionaire. For Heaven’s sake I went into loans because I wanted you not them, I wanted to marry you as my Love. My uncles begged your dad and uncles to cut the bride price. They told us to get out of their home if we didn’t have what they had asked for. Everyone asked me what was so special about you that I was looking for. I looked like a fool before my people, friends and workmates.
So let me tell you this, I love you and I will continue to love you but your parents will continue eating beans in this house. Tell them I am still servicing a loan I took 6 years ago for your bride price, tell them we are poor, tell them to go slaughter the 35 Frisian cows they asked for, the 42 goats they asked for and the sh15M cash money they took. I will buy them a sack of beans in this house every time they visit.
If you want us to be one, let’s not talk about your people.
All he spoke was true, they asked for that much but I thought he had healed from this pain. My Dad is the fourth Born in his family so in their family when any girl is getting married, the clan decides the bride price, you can’t have say alone. My clan decided 45 Frisian cows since they had paid me up to master’s level. They decreased to those hubby paid, valuing each at 1.5M. I told hubby it’s ok I would work hard and we would replace the money. But I lost my job.
Meanwhile my husband doesn’t come for burial when any of my people dies.
I need help, how to make hubby heal from this embarrassment and pain of six years back. I know my uncles reacted arrogantly but I thought all this had passed being that hubby is a quiet person.